Monday, November 5, 2012

I Came, I Conquered, I Lost...for now.

Well the weekend flew by, didn't it?
It is a VERY cold day in Chicago today. 43 degrees but feels like 40. Psshh, feels like 30 if you ask me. My job is near the lakefront so it's always so, so, so, SO much colder that anywhere else in the city. I had to bust out the ear muffs to keep my big head warm.
Moving on...
I hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. Linking up with Sami, Dana, and Leeann for the Weekend Update:
Friday: Nothing exciting. Went back to the burbs to have dinner with my parents and get some last minute studying done for the police exam the next day. I was in bed by 10:30. Woo! Thrilling, I know.
Saturday: Woke up at 4:30 am (yikes!) and got ready for said police exam. I was feeling confident that morning and was ready to kick some ass. Unfortunately, the day kicked my ass instead.
 I will admit that writing about this is a little difficult but here it goes anyway.
 I was one of 344 people who showed up to take the exam. This specific department was one of the few that required a Bachelors degree to even apply and take the exam (most departments only require a high school diploma or an Associates degree). Once the comissioners began to go over the details of the test, they informed us that out of the 344 people that were there, they would only be taking the top 50 scores. EeekkK! You can just imagine the reaction that everyone had after hearing that. Not going to lie, I was beyond nervous and was on the verge of puking after hearing that. After completing the exam, they made us wait an hour and half for our results. That hour and a half was complete hell for everyone there & such a nerve wracking experience.
And then the time came - the results were posted. It was a stampede. I saw my ID number and score - I was in the top 50. I wanted to scream for joy but had to keep my composure since over 250 people had just learned they failed. After finding out the results, the top 50 were instructed to report to the gym for the physical. I was ready for it. I had no doubt in my mind that I could pass it. I have been training for almost two months for the physical and have already passed two other tests with different departments. We first had to run 1.5 miles in the cold, which was brutal for this asthmatic, but I killed it. I wanted to die, but I did it.
And then came the weiging in. I weighed in at 111.9, which was rounded up to 112. Because it was rounded up to 112, it changed the amount of weight that I had to bench press, and that ladies, is what did it for me. Every other department has weighed me in at 111 and has had me bench press a certain amount of weight, which I have been able to do with no problem. Since I was unable to bench the proper weight, I was not allowed to continue on.
I left the gym feeling completely defeated, upset, and downright shitttty.
Once I got into my car, I called my brother (who is a police officer) and cried to him for half an hour. A lot of venting took pIace, let me tell you.  After crying for a very long time and beating myself up the entire day, I got over it. I know I can do it - I will do it. The fact that I beat out over 250 people itself is an accomplishment. The physical aspect of the police exam is something I can definitely improve on and conquer. Not everyone is fortunate enought to be able to pass the written exam. I have more exams in the next month and will be studying my booty off and working even harder at the gym.
I got this.
Sunday: Spent it with my family, which was very much needed after Saturday's fiasco. We went out for lunch and caught up with everything that was going on in our lives. I see my parents more than my brother, so it's always nice when he's able to join us. After lunch, I did some much needed retail therapy with my mom :) I finnnally splurged and got the Steve Madden boots I have been wanting for over a month. I ordered them online and was told that the order would be delayed to the severe weather conditions. And then of course, when I got home, I noticed that my right combat boot that I was wearing had a hole in the back. So today's lunch break will be used to find a new pair. Gah! The perils of being a girl.
I had been on a hunt for black pants/leggings for a while and I finally found some really nice ones at T J Maxx, out of all places. One thing about me: I have absolutely no problem shelling out big bucks for tops, coats, scarves, shoes & purses. But when it comes to pants, forget about it. The cheaper, the better. I have always had a hate/hate relationship with pants. I absolutely hate them. I hate wearing them, I hate looking at them, I hate shopping for them. HATE it. I think it stems from always having to shop for them since my weight has always fluctuated since high school. I went from 115 pounds my freshman year of high school to 95 pounds my junior year, to 105 my senior year. Once I entered college, I was pushing 140 pounds (screw the freshman 15, I won the freshman 30). And now, I fluctuate between 110-115. (no, I never had an eating disorder, just a wacky metabolism. This girl loves to eat.) So you can see where pants pose a problem.
Anyway, I came across these fabulous fleece lined leggings that feel and look absolutely amazing. I kept reading about fleece lined leggings but could never find them. I walked out with 2 pairs of leggings, 1 pair of black skinnies, 1 pair of grey tights, and a pair of gloves all for $60. Holla!
This post was longer than I anticipated. That's my ranting for ya.
Happy Monday, all!
<3 Steph


  1. Girl you did amazing! Just passing the written test is a huge accomplishment! You should be very proud!With your determination you will get in for sure!

    1. Thanks, Monica! Really appreciate the kind words :)