Am I allowed to blog twice in one day?
It's Friday night, I'm at my parent's house making some tea and preparing to watch some videos on weapon manipulation (thrilling, I know) and I got to thinking...
My life is about to change.
I've pretty much revealed to the world that I have been hired as a police officer for an Illinois police department. I'm not going to lie - I am beyond nervous, terrified, excited, grateful - you name it, I'm feeling it.
I've gotten a good response from people considering I kept it very low key. However, my parents have been the ones to take it the hardest, more so my mom. I don't blame her. She's already had to go through this with my brother (he's a detective) and I can remember the sleepless and stressful nights she and my dad has once he was out patrolling the streets. The last thing I want to do is cause fear and stress to my parents, or to any of my loved one for that matter. But I also can't live the rest of my life wondering "what if" about my career/future.
I chose a profession that not many women go into. I chose a profession that requires risking my life every second of my life, and funny enough, none of that actually scares me. The politics, advancements, stress on my personal relationships is what scares me the most. I've always been a tough and aggressive girl and I've always had a good idea on how to handle rough situations in life, but I know I'm about to enter a whooooole different ball game. For one, I'm 5'3 and 110 lbs. In comparison to majority of other police officers, I'm freaking small. I may be small, but my drive to help people and stay alive isn't.
Most of my girlfriends are extremely happy for me and terrified at the same time while my guy friends think it's "badass." Funny how two different perspectives are given off to the same profession.
Here's another thing - I have Endometriosis, a chronic, extremely painful, gynecological disease. For the most part, I can manage the pain and get by. But when the pain hits, holy mother of Jesus does it hurt. And here I am entering a testosterone driven field that has minimal knowledge of female monthly pains. I'm really in for a doozy on this one.
Point plank - I want to succeed and be the best police officer I can be. More than anything, I want to inspire young kids, especially girls, that a career in law enforcement can be obtained by anyone as long as you have the desire to work hard and help others at their worst.
I almost chose to go to law school and become an attorney. Thank baby Jesus I didn't. I almost chose a career that would put me behind a desk and immersed in paperwork for the rest of my life, all because I thought it was "safe." Screw safe. Grow a pair and live your life. Become what you want to become. That's what I chose to do.
I am no where finished with this police process. This is just the beginning. I still have 12 grueling weeks of the police academy followed by an additional 9-12 weeks of field training. On top of that, I still have to complete a probationary period with my department. So it'll be a LONG while before I can actually kick back and relax.
Am I ready for this? You bet your ass I am. I have no other choice.